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And so it is ... [Sep. 21st, 2006|01:37 am]
[mood |draineddrained]

I know it's been forver since I've written on livejournal, but this is coming at a time where I feel really low. Basically my life is in such a chaotic order that I don't think I can handle it right now. I guess on the outside, it looks like I have everything -- a nice apartment, a decent-paying job, friends, a relationship. But on the inside, it's a life filled with credit card debt, stupid co-workers, a schedule that won't let me live freely, a job that requires perfection only to end with stupid mistakes I overlook, and lastly, lonliness.

I feel the world has turned its back on me. I feel like out six days in the week, I don't get any feedback on anything, whether that be a job, how I'm doing in a relationship or living in this day-to-day world. It's not until I reach the seventh day when shit blows up in my face. It's like I can't get reemed in spurts, it just all has to come at once -- and I get it everywhere. Basically I live in a world where love is scant. The smiles may be there, but the spirit is long gone. It's like I have it all and I feel nothing.

Maybe this could be the fact that Colorado isn't the place I thought it would be. It's a vile area where people are too nosy and stuck up for their own good. Maybe I need the superficiality of Southern California. It's like what Orson Welles used to say, "Even if the good old days never existed, the fact that we can conceive such a world is, in fact, an affirmation of the human spirit."

I'm tired, I'm moody, and worst of all, I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and I'm the only one who hears it.Maybe it's because I'm too much of a perfectionist in life and that's killing me. It's the fact that the world is whizzing by me, and I'm too busy or too scared to jump on.

I want a real change in life. I want to just rework things but I'm just too tired and too moody. Can't stand it.
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Exhaustion pipe [May. 6th, 2006|05:36 pm]
[Current Location |home]
[mood |draineddrained]
[music |The Anniversary - The Heart is a Lonly Hunter]

Have you ever been so stressed out and overworked that you begin to drift into this mode of laziness? Like you work so, so much then all of the sudden, you crash? I'm sure you all have, and this week for me was no exception to that.

So my newspaper has this thing called the Aurora Public Schools Activity Guide that we put out three times a year. Alright, so for the past three issues (this one being the last one -- thank God -- until August). Now putting together this guide isn't brain surgery. The district (Aurora Public Schools) gives me the guide items, as well as the city of Aurora, and I put them together. Talk about the most TIME CONSUMING pice of work  you have to accomplish. Yes folks, this was the week I had to put it all together. And when I put it all together, it seemed I feel apart. Just the exhaustion of putting this thing together is astounding.

On top of all my usual work, we are also working on this guide called "Progress." What is Progress? It's basically a puff edition on spotlighting people in the community. Kind of lame, but I sort of like it. Anyway, I have to talk about the growth in Aurora. Eek! On top of that, I had a deadline of Friday, which, if you get where I'm going with this piece, I didn't accomplish.

I should feel bad, but I sort of don't. I mean, I need some time of break or adjustment period before I move on to the next thing. In a city of 300,000, which has been dubbed the "Crime Capital of Colorado" by, well, everyone, there's only so much a person could do at that paper. And I may be bitched out by Jake (who if you read my previous post, replaced the smarter-yet-lifeless boss prior to this whole Aurora Sentinel & Daily Sun sea change).

If this was college or even high school, I would be freaking out. But it feels like I have so many chips in the bag with completing the APS Guide (it's a money maker for our little publishing company of ours), that I can kind of take a walk on this one. I doubt that's the case, since Jake, who's in charge of not only my daily happenings at work, but this whole entire Progress chaos, seems to be on my good side.

A little ass-kissing here and there never hurt, but by no means we are chums. I will probably get an e-mail (yea, it seems journalists can't speak face to face regarding crises) about how I didn't turn in the assignment on time.

But it's just, like, hell, what can I do from here on out? I've pulled 12-hour days at the work,  got a guide sent to the printer and even wrapped up the paper this week. There was only so much I could do this week that it feels like I have to put this work on the special section on hold.

Does anyone out there agree with me?
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You're fired [Apr. 7th, 2006|03:53 pm]
[Current Location |home]
[mood |stressedstressed]
[music |Winged Migration soundtrack]

And so it would appear that Ernest, my co-worker who I thought was great at everything, got canned last week for reasons I don't really know too well.
To fill you all up to speed on Ernest, he basically was this King Kong of a boss who would hover over every move you did on the newspaper. If I were to go against his wishes to put in a story on, say, the business section of the newspaper, he woudl flip.

But , dear readers, many of you may know that  I was having a little bit of trouble with him. In this year, all of that has changed, and with the firing -- changed again.

Ernest turned out to have a nice side; it just took a little bit to chip the preverbial ice to get to the kindness. When we were working on the newspaper on some nights, Ernest would crack jokes, strike up conversation, and on some occasions buy me dinner from Whole Foods. How he has the money to do that, I will never know.

In short, we were becoming good collegaues. But then ... it got ripped away.

Last Wednesday,  I got news that Ernest got fired for, well, plagirism. Yep, he plagarized quotes. When will the journalism industry ever do right?  The reason I'm ranting over this is because Ernest was one of those employees who would do everything, and needless to say, do everything right. He would work on the front page, send the pages down to the printer, proof the pages till they sparkled. He was a superstar.

And even when he got the ax from the Aurora Sentinel & Daily Sun, I still thought of him as a superstar.

But the part that's really bothering me is that I got sandbagged with all his work. And to throw on a little more akwardness, I got stuck with Jake, who was the features edtior but got "bumed up" to managing editor to "replace" Ernest.

I know it sounds like journalism musical chairs and a little persnickety, but you know what it's like when you get used to a routine and then you have to change and adjust your gears.

*sigh* I guess I'm going that right now. Wish me luck along the way, folks!
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Happy New Year ... and a livejournal lull is done! [Jan. 1st, 2006|01:20 am]
[mood |jubilantjubilant]
[music |Pussycat dolls- Don'cha]

Hi folks. Well ... first of all, WOW! What a hiatus it's been on Livejournal. Some may have thought that I would never return to document my thoughts on life, but alas, I have returned. First of all, besides the usual bullshit on how I was busy with work, I was also just trying to gather thoughts in my head during the lull in LiveJournal.

A lot has been going through my mind, and yes, things haven't been easy in Aurora, Colo. On top of jobs, relationships, and friends, my life has been simple here in the Centennial State. The Aurora Sentinel has been quite a sacrifice (as it has from the beginning) but things seem to be going OK. Ernest is still somewhat of a jerk, but I've learned to just let him be and not affect me. Greg and I are doing very well, and we've both been very busy with work that sometimes we haven't seen much of each other. But no worries, thank God for the holidays because we have been able to spend some great time together.

Other than that, my life has been pretty much mellow and busy.

One thing that has been on my mind is a new year's resolution. It's a cliche one, I know, and it may not work. But hell, I'll at least give it a shot to see how it goes. I want to balance mind, body, and spirit. I know, as I said before it sounds super-cliche. But it's something that would be fun to do and see if I can attempt to do. I know no one can reach this ultimate state of perfect mind, body and spirit -- but I can at least tread the waters. 

And last but not least ... I wanted to wish you all a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I'll be in touch ... I swear! 

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Starting to figure out right now... [Oct. 12th, 2005|11:32 am]
[mood |awake]
[music |Decemberists - July, July]

So I'm starting to find out who my co-worker really is. Needless to say, he's one of those know-it-all types. I should have figured this out from the beginning, but something hit me last night. The more he started to reveal himself to me ... he somewhat reminded me of my cousin. My cousin can pretty much recite any book in the world, knows any song in the world, and pretty much can solve and do anything. This is kind of what my co-worker is like. And it's safe to say that this guy can be kind of cocky. Well, at times really cocky, but you get the idea.

I guess I've always worked with these types of people. (And maybe you guys have, too). These are the people who think they know everything. I don't know what to say to that. I mean...I'm not really hurt that I have to work with this co-worker, it's just that I've always worked with these types of people. I don't know if this is my fate or not. Is there a certain pattern that I'm to follow in a workplace? Are people just seceptible to working with one type of people their entire lives? It's true I can go to another industry and meet a completely different breed of people. But when you look at business is business, it all boils down to the cocky, and know-it-allish people that really
are around the office.

And oh my god...before I forget, I want to give a happy belated birthday to  wwjd998
It was her birthday a couple days ago, and I heard she had an awesome time. Wish I could be there back in SoCal, but keeping damn busy
here in the good ol' metro area in Denver (aka Aurora).
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The bulldozers keep pilin' [Sep. 22nd, 2005|11:27 am]
[mood |working]
[music |Coldplay - Talk]

Man oh man...have I been busy folks. I know everyone and their parakeet say they're busy, but it's true. For journalists, this is especially a crazy time because you have elections. So being the copy editor (who doesn't usually write stories, often), I got piled on with writing a 30 inch story next week. On top of that, I have to put together this activity guide for Aurora Public Schools. Oh yea...and here's the real kicker on top of all my fun-filled daily duties...I have to write a women in business feature.

Call it bitchin' or complaining...but work is running into a lot of things like, oh LiveJournal for instance, and more importantly, time with Greg. We don't really see eachother all that much, but, we still make time for each other. We both have jobs, we both work pretty strenous hours, ect. But still...it just makes me wonder if I still want to continue this job.

Now would be a terrible time to squeeze out of it. Bad, bad move if I do that. But I keep thinking, somewhere down the road, I want a job that at least I can see greg and nights. Well, I admit it's nice getting mornings off, but still I miss Greg throughout the night and day. I don't know...time will have to tell
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I am back and alive as you know! [Sep. 18th, 2005|11:10 am]
[music |Watching "Ghostbuster II"]

I know it's been ohhh let's say...FOREVER since I have updated, but rest assured, I am back! I know some of you may have gone through LJ drougts without my beautiful, poetic and damn-fine blog, but I will be returning to that.

Yes folks...you can say that I have joined the many who have to work to make a living. Sometimes it's overtime, sometimes it's just late at night when I work, so when I work...it's hard to update this precious journal.

But rest assured party people, I have been looking at each and every one of your journals in close details (jk).

I will now open up this forum if you have any questions...
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Question for ya'll [Aug. 19th, 2005|01:09 am]
[music |Hot Water Music - Ebb and Flow]

Why are some people in this world so hard to work with?
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Full-time boogie [Aug. 18th, 2005|12:23 pm]
[mood |Just workin']
[music |Paul Oakenfold - Southern Sun]

Wow ladies and gentleman! The corporate world is something else. About a week ago, my editor pulled me in and offered me a full-time position! Which I think is awesome...but...

This obviously means being at the newspaper later (and we're talking late) like around midnight or 1 a.m. Shocking, yes...but when you think of all the hours that copy editors (such as me!), that number seems, well, normal. And this week has certainly been a full-time ride. Already I believe I have logged in about 37 hours for just four days. I shouldn't bitch too much.

I can't tell you how lax the environment is at my work. (I can't believe I haven't mentioned this earlier.) I was, well, you know, working on the paper (which can be time consuming). Last night we watched "The Office" on NBC -- while I was working on the opinion page. Man, talk about a distraction. I thought the show was pretty neat, although it was something I had to get adjusted to, to really like it. Maybe I should watch the BBC one.

The Collapse )
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A short post... [Aug. 13th, 2005|03:33 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[music |Radiohead - Ideoteque]

I think the environment of my job has prevented me from effectively communicating...

Kind of a harsh statement, but at a journalism conference I went to about two months ago I heard this statement about journalists (copy editors in general):

Journalists are on the frontline of communication, but we're the worst at communicating.

I don't know part of this could be what Greg has said about my communication. But who do I blame, my job...or just the fact that Greg is a better communicator????
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